Chapter 11: Watch Dr. Gottman describe The Four Horseman (9:59)
Answer the following questions:
- What information stood out for you from the video?
- What advice would you give to romantic partners so they can be â€œmastersâ€ and not â€œdisasters?â€
- What can couples do to prevent meeting the Four Horsemen?
- Gottman stated that repair work is the â€œsine qua nonâ€ of relationships, and that the quality of the friendship, intimacy, emotional connection and creation of shared meaning and purpose are important for couples to be â€œmasters.â€ Do you agree with these statements? Why or why not?
- Be sure to include terms from the chapter to help support your claims.
Chapter 12: Defensiveness implies protecting ourselves from a perceived threat. The universal tendency is to try to â€œsave faceâ€ by defending our presenting self when we perceive that it has been attacked by what social scientists call face-threatening acts. Frequently, this creates a climate that leads to a negative defensive spiral.
For this DB, you will do the following:
- Identify two different times when you perceived that you were under attack and responded by using one of the Gibb defensive categories. Briefly describe each situation and your response.
- Identify the Gibb category you used.
- Describe how you might have otherwise responded in order to create a more positive and supportive climate.
- Analyze your defensive behavior. In general, do you consider yourself a â€œdefensiveâ€ person? Why or why not? Are there certain topics that tend to trigger your defensiveness? Are there certain people with whom you are more defensive than normal?
- Be sure to include terms from the chapter to help support your claims