Letter to Mr. Barash.

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For this revision, you will rewrite your Observational Essay by directing it to David P. Barash himself, the author of “The Roar of the Crowd.” We all recall that Mr. Barash sounded quite hostile to the whole idea of watch sports; he felt it was a waste of time at best, and at worst it was too close to the kind of group mentality that in the past has lead to fascism and genocide. He also felt that making heroes out of sports figures was a mistake.

We mostly agreed that Mr. Barash was pretty extreme in his language, and we also observed that it was almost as if he himself had never been to a sporting event, or if he had been, he had not observed with an open mind. Well, YOU have been to a sporting event, and you have observed the spectators carefully. Your job in revising your second rough draft is to write letter to Mr. Barash, sympathetically summarizing his concerns and sharing some of your observations as a defense of spectators.

Your revision must include the following elements:

  1. Brief, accurate, and sympathetic summary in your own words of his concerns about sports spectatorship. Re-read Barash if necessary. Do not insult him or tell him he must have been a nerd-loser in high school to hate sports so much!
  2. A request that he rethink his views of sports fans based on the evidence you want to share with him. “I hope you will listen to what I have to say….”
  3. A reframing of SOME of your observations as that evidence. Do not simply paste in your observations the way they were written for the rough draft! You will have to choose specific observations, perhaps expand them, and you will have to revise the sentences so they make sense in this new context.

You do not have to do any additional research for this revision. You can, if you like, include any of your own experiences as an athlete or a fan, in addition to sharing your observations.

Your revision must take the format of a letter to Mr. Barash. That means…

  1. Use the first-person (I).
  2. Have a salutation (“Dear Mr. Barash”) and a closing (“Yours, Allie”)

Length Requirement

This revision may end up being SHORTER than your rough draft—you will cut some of your observations, though you will have to add the brief summary of Barash’s concerns. Aim for between 3 pages double-spaced.

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